OMG THE ZOMBIES!!!! THE ZOMBIES!!!!

THE ZOMBIES ARE COMING!!!! Oh, wow. That sounds to much like, "THE END IS NEAR!!!!" So, never mind! Well, my current favorite movie is "Zombieland" an amazing (:D) movie that came out in 2009. I know! "We're still in 1998!" Oh well. So the rules to surviving "Zombieland" are:

1. CARDIO (The first ones to go in Zombieland are fat people... just sayin')


2. Double-tap (Don't save your bullets, if most people are Zombies it won't be hard to find more)


3. Beware of Bathrooms (Awesome rule, I mean "Beware of Bathrooms! Woooooow.... ;)


4. Seat belts (It may seem like "THERE ARE ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE AND YOU WANT ME TO WEAR A SEAT BELT?!" But you haven't seen the movie, have you?)

17. DON'T BE A HERO (I know it skips. (In the end this rule is changed to "Be a Hero"))

18. Limber-up (Goes with Cardio, but is a bit higher up :)

31. Check the backseat (Can you guess why o.O)

32. Enjoy the little things (TALLAHASSEE SAID IT FIRST!!!!!! :D)

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So those are the rule to surviving ZOMBIELAND, but what about other Zombie books, and Movies, what do they do in those?! Well, I'm starting a new book (i know, ANOTHER ONE?!) called "When the Zombies Come". It's basically a survival guide to a world with zombies. The rules:

1. Stay in Shape, if you're out of shape, and can't run... You'll end up a zombie. (same as in Zombieland with different words)


2. If you can't kill your best friend if and when they become a zombie stay faaaaaaaaar away from them!! (Good rule? Huh? Huh? What d'ya think?!)


3. Live somewhere up high where the zombies can't get to you! (I would choose a tree-house, 'cause I like trees, and houses......)


4. If you do live somewhere up high then you'll need long range weapons. (Guns, Bows, Slingshots, you get the idea ;)

Also you'll need stuff like:

1. Baseball bats. If everyone is a zombie ('cept you) a baseball bat is not only useful, but free! :D


2. A Crowbar. another good weapon, also used to break into buildings for Supplies, and housing.


3. Flashlights. veeeeeeeeery useful, but also makes you easier to hit in a fight with zombies. Weapon and not! :)


4. Know-how! When zombies are running around loose you might need to "Borrow" a car.


5. This book! This book contains everything you need to know about surviving zombies! And if it's missing something, don't come looking for the author.......... Because if it's missing something the author is a zombie by now. :o (poor me......)
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In 28 Days Later....... Wait, I'm not repeating anything that they did in that movie. It was horrible. Zombieland was 10 or 20 or 250 times better. The Zombies were more convincing. In 28 Days Later the zombies GAVE UP when chasing a car, AND they spat to much blood...... Oh and Tallahassee wasn't in 28 Days Later. 28 Weeks Later was better. More convincing, but in the "Zombie" movie genre, as far as I've seen, Zombieland still takes the cake. (An expression I learned in A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Second. The Reptile Room. It has a veeeery long title....) Well, I guess that's it! Oh yeah! And I exercised my talent of hurting myself recently! I dropped a fan on my TOE. And it HURTS. WAIT, sorry I got the story wrong......... "One night, KAT, was taking a fan out of her WINDOW, and the fan, suicidal this fan was, LEAPED from her hands, and STOMPED on her toe! A very painful experience for both the fan, and KAT." It may seem a little Far Fetched, but that's EXACTLY what happened. If you don't believe ME, ask the fan! Or my fish, I think King Jonathan V of Tortall was watching, I'll have to ask him later. Well, now I'm done, Keep Reading, Researching, and Watching Zombie movies. (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND ZOMBIELAND, ALTHOUGHT THERE'S LOTS OF SWEARING IN THAT MOVIE. AND ONE OF THE CHARACTERS KILLS BILL MURRAY!!!! :O)